Not random
You are not random. Never have been, never will be.
You think you have been random, have done things for no rhyme or reason but you haven’t. Nothing is uncaused.
Everything a human does is done for a reason, to achieve a goal, to secure an aim. Sometimes what we do seems anything but beneficial but there is a reason, a useful intention, behind all actions. Even the worst.
Sulking is not considered to be a constructive act but it is if it works. Because it’s designed to display displeasure or unhappiness, to provoke sympathy, to gain understanding.
Fury offers us something suitably energetic, something that fits our intense need to act whilst being simultaneously bound by helplessness.
And so on.
If you do something, if you say something and you don’t like it don’t try to grit your teeth in order to stop yourself. You’ll succeed occasionally but if the behaviour is achieving something for you - even at a hidden level - you might well continue doing it anyway.
Instead, think about the why that describes your behaviour. It’s there, somewhere. It will take guts because, sometimes, the why requires facing up to less than attractive character traits. Do it anyway. When you find it, think about how better to service that need. Servicing the need in a more constructive way will leave the previous behaviour with nothing to do. So it will wither through underuse and then die.
